Wired Woes

User: "i'm a new intern. i can't get email"
Me: "is your outlook 'online?'"
User: "no it's disconnected"
Me: can you access the internet?
*checking*
User: "no."
Me: go into network connections and check the status of ur Local area connection
User: "it says network cable unplugged."
Me: is your ethernet cable plugged in?
User: "...no"